Man you have a serious problem. The demons are coming and these demons you have no defense for. Women. As I reflect upon my past and what the true nature of my destructive behavior has been, all I see is women. It’s easier to get past not using alcohol than it is to kill the hunger to devour another attractive young lady. You have always liked them and they have always wanted you to like them, to please them, to make them feel alive. Somehow somewhere you believe that you have been put here to bring excitement to the lives of other people. You know this to be true. At least in your little world. All that aside, what are you going to do with this feeling. It is growing and it will be your downfall if you let it. You are already rationalizing that all you have to do is get the ones who don’t drink. How true is that? Is that Ok? Of course not. You haven’t been able to separate sex and alcohol, so what makes you think that you will be able to do it in the future. It’s the same thing as with the drink. What is more important? The sex or your family life. This is the question that you have to answer. Do you want to lose your son and wife for another form of instant gratification. Of course not, but what can I do? The gym nor the vitamins help with this. There are some men out there who can look, but not touch, and then there are a lot of other ones out there that can touch and not cause a problem with their relationship. I’m very unsure about my ability to do that. This is not simply about sex for you. This is about a lot of emotional things. The want, the desire, the appreciation, the excitement. What can compare with the excitement of the first time you enter her body for the first time? I really don’t know…All I can say is good luck with that. You know it’s coming. What are you going to do? Maybe this can all be solved by having sex with your wife. I hope so!!!
Tomorrow is Saturday and you have a chance to be sober with your family. You keep having these flashes of what you did in the past and they are very attractive to you. These flashes are a product of habit. Don’t let them create any negativity in your vibe. You will be ok…You just have to find suitable alternatives, but Once again, we’re back to the excitement factor. What are you going to do to replace the adrenaline rushes that drinking and fucking have provided for you in the past. Do you actually need to replace them or can you simply do without them? Who said that you need this type of excitement in your life now? You needed it before, but you are a different person with different responsibilities and sources of pleasure. Go take a shower and go to work. Enjoy the feeling. It makes you feel alive. Just don’t act on it. That’s where the self-discipline is going to come into play. Don’t plot a scenario, just have fun!
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