I've been to over 50 but meetings didn't do it for me. Too much talk about alcohol. They were like a trigger. I wanted to drink every time I left one. However, I highly recommend them for everyone who is trying to quit using. The system is solid and there is a lot of useful information to be had.
That being said without going to meetings, my biggest obstacle to staying sober was figuring out..."What do I do if I don't use?".
My journey to this point started About 5 years ago when I started marking an X on my calendar for everyday I was sober and a D for everyday I took a drink. I did that off and on for a few years and I noticed that I would be able to string out more X marks from time to time and I would shorten the amount of D marks. It went from 4 X marks in a row. *relapse period 5 D marks* To 6 X marks. *relapse period 4 D marks* To 12 X marks. *relapse period* To 14. *relapse period* To 28. *relapse period* To 40. *relapse period* and so on with different combinations in between. Before I stopped this time, I was consistently not drinking for more than 2 days in a row.
Each time I found a period of sobriety I would make some adjustments to my lifestyle and after I relapsed I would try to implement them again. In other words, I would fall down but I would get back up, and my legs got a bit stronger each time I started on my way again.
Then last year after my second divorce I started with taking a 5 minute walk near my house every day, rain or shine, hung over or not, so I could pray and give thanks for being alive. That turned into going there by the same time every morning hung over or not. Which has become going there everyday by the same time every morning completely sober. It has been a process played out over time.
After that I started replacing my "club girls" with "sober girls" even if I was still drinking. Then, "Drunk night sex" with "half sober-day after sex", and then "completely sober sex" which was a real challenge at first. This led to a relationship with a non-user, which makes a huge difference for me in staying sober over the long haul.
I also replaced listening to my favorite music (too many using memories) with watching documentaries about musicians and other things that spark my interest. No movies about parties and won't even consider going to a bar or even a concert. I watch fun movies with a positive message, mindless action, or intelligent drama. I try to avoid films about disfunctional alcoholics with family problems, films with depressing themes, and so on...
Now I am at 49 X marks. 90 days of repeating the same activity is what ingrains the habit into our subconscious mind and gives us a new habit. Over halfway there and I can feel it. The cravings are not there.
I know I'm a newbie at 7 weeks but I have been thru the rollercoaster ride of stopping and fighting the urges to do the same things. This doesn't seem to be the same ole' S***. All of the adjustments seem to be giving me a new lifestyle, not just a "no drinking" way of life. This time I feel like I'm on solid ground and moving forward, instead of fighting not to go backwards. This time I feel less fear. This time I feel like it is real.
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